golden garden gnome – gardenerscardiff.co.uk

Your Questions About Gardening

GardenersCardiff — Tue, 06 Jan 2015 20:05:02 +0000

William asks…

What kind of paint do I use for a ceramic garden gnome?

I have a ceramic bisque garden gnome I would like to paint and put in my yard. I’m clueless about how to paint/seal it so it can be outside.

GardenersCardiff answers:

If this is a ceramic bisque piece, then it is probably low fire clay and meant to be painted with underglazes (they come in all different colors) and then clear glazed and fired in a kiln. You can do this at a “paint your own pottery” place. Then the colors and glaze will last without pealing.

If you can’t do this, then you can paint it with most any paint. Some may last longer than others. You can use a commercial sealant on top also.

George asks…

Was it right from Gary the Golden Garden Gnome to give the growing potion to Goliath?

It is common knowledge that on the eve of the battle of Goliath and David, Gary the Golden Garden Gnome, who had a small bar in Palestine at that time, slipped Goliath a growing potion, which would cause the imbiber to become immensely strong and nearly invulnerable gaining him a +5 to his Strength, Size and Constitution, but give him a -5 weakness to projectiles. Should Gary have kept it fair, or has the battle happened the way it should’ve happened ?

GardenersCardiff answers:

This question would be better directed to the section set-up for questions on Gaming and Roleplaying.

Thomas asks…

What if Gary the Golden Garden Gnome DIDN’T hand David the sling with a +5 enchantment against giants on it ?

We all know that the supposedly fight of David against Goliath was a set-up. What would’ve happened if Gary the Golden Garden Gnome didn’t give David his magical sling ?

GardenersCardiff answers:

+5 enchantment?

I thought it was +3 accuracy, +10 damage magical sling….

Your Questions About Gardening

GardenersCardiff — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 20:05:03 +0000

Thomas asks…

Where can I buy inexpensive garden gnomes that aren’t just 3 inches tall?

I love garden gnomes, but unfortunately, so does everyone else, so they are really expensive. I’m not talking about the ceramic concrete ones, just the plastic resin ones.

Does anyone know where I can get a gnome or two without spending a fortune?

GardenersCardiff answers:

Walmart or Big Lots.

Ken asks…

What is the stance from Pastafarians to the Church of Gary the Golden Garden Gnome ?

As we all know, Garyism is an offshoot of the Church of the FSM, albeit unofficial. We believe that while the FSM is responsible for the creation of the world, several wonders attributed to him are actually performed by Gary the Golden Garden Gnome, a descendant of the first Midget created by the FSM.

What do other Pastafarians think of Garyism?

GardenersCardiff answers:

Where can I learn more about Gary?

Those garden gnomes always look like they’re up to something.

I think that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a secure God, who will not be threatened by Gary the Golden Garden Gnome getting some attention.

Robert asks…

Wheres the best place to find funny looking Garden Gnomes?

I once saw one in someones yard that has one where it’s mooning. Where can I find funny Garden Gnomes like that ?

GardenersCardiff answers:

Try making your own…that’d be funny looking!!! You could do it with your woman…bit like the pottery scene in ghost. Kill two birds with one stone,sex and a piece of art (ish)

Your Questions About Gardening

GardenersCardiff — Thu, 11 Sep 2014 14:05:03 +0000

Michael asks…

what does it mean when a garden gnome has a monkey statue inside?

it was an old german garden gnome i believe, and when it accidentally broke there was a statue of a monkey inside…what does that mean?

GardenersCardiff answers:

In germany it is a tradition to do these things as garden gnomes are the keepers of the gate..they see all protect all and know all…to give them extra power and tons more luck..a monkey or a bird or rabbit was inserted into some of the special older ones it is a treasure..repair the elf if you can and keep the monkey inside

Donna asks…

What is the current and future size of the garden gnome industry?

I’m doing a project for Family and Consumer Sciences and have to make a faux Web site. I chose to do a retail Web site that sells garden gnomes and I need to know the current size of the industry and a projected size of it in the future. If anyone could help me, I’d be in their debt.

Thank you!

GardenersCardiff answers:

Massive

Sandra asks…

Should Gary the Golden Garden Gnome apologize for jokingly removing any roadmarkers in the desert ?

Because that was the reason that Moses and his band were dwelling through the desert for forty years. Gary told them, in a joking way, that the Promised Land awaited them. Yet, the Promised Land was none other than his pub he used to run in Palestine. Should Gary the Golden Garden Gnome apologize for his joke, or should Moses’ve taken it as a good sport, and laugh at it whilst drinking some milk and honey in the Promised Land ?

GardenersCardiff answers:

Gary the Golden Garden Gnome is a shrewd business man and need not apologise, using the old ‘promise land’ line is classy.