Mandy asks…
Are your kids good sleepers now, even if they were night-wakers the first year?
Have any of you mamas out there ridden the night-waking waves with a “This too shall pass” attitude and come out on the other side with kids who sleep through the night? My husband and I are too lazy for sleep training and think it’s a bit odd as well. Weissbluth and Ferber could easily scare us into thinking that we’re doing permanent harm by allowing the night-waking phase to pass in it’s own good time. Our child is bound to grow up in need of tranquilizers and other sleep medications in order to go to sleep at night… So, if you’re an adult with sleep issues–blame your parents. They must have failed or have been too lazy to follow through with the sleep training program. :-). At any rate, I’d like some mama reassurance that kids do sleep through the night eventually (or perhaps that they don’t and we better hop on the sleep training bandwagon quick before it’s too late).
Our girl is 11 months old and still wakes up 1-3 times/night, usually in the first three hours or last two hours of the night/morning.
GardenersCardiff answers:
My daughter sleeps beautifully. She is 4 1/2 and we have a simple bed-time routine…. Bath, toilet,teeth cleaning, book and sleep. After a kiss and and “I love you” she goes straight off to sleep (or sings quietly to herself until she falls asleep) My step-mum was so impressed with how well she went to bed (last time we were staying with my parents)
This is the SAME woman who was saying that I`d have problems later…as I was co-sleeping, extended nursing and my daughter would wake during the night. And was always telling me to “just let her cry it out”
When I was told “you are making a rod for your own back”…I eventually thought “It`s my back!!”
It is really only a western thing that little babies should sleep right throughout the night (and in their own room no less). Throughout most of Asia it is unheard of. People generally keep their babies and toddlers close and comfort them when they cry.
I eventually climbed on the sleep training bandwagon ( but much later and very modified) in order to get our daughter to sleep in her own room when she was 2 1/2.
I did a VERY modifed controlled crying…starting with 1 minute increments (on a timer)….and singing a song to her when I was in the room (for some reason “Pop goes the weasel” worked wonders). Once the timer went off I said “good night I love you” One minute was not long enough to distress her, but long enough that I was out of the room for a time. Very gradually I extended the time out of the room…and reduced the time in the room to 30 seconds.
This was painless for both of us……but only because she was at an age that she knew I was coming back…and could understand that when the timer rang I would leave (or come back). It was a bit of a hassle going back and forwards…but I just folded washing in front of the TV…during the time out.
I still don`t agree with INSISTING that your child must stay in their own room no matter what. Our daughter is always allowed to come into mummy`s bed if she feels distressed in the middle of the night. We did have a time where she was really scared of monsters and was in our bed every night…..but that has passed and she is back to sleeping in her own bed only.
Maria asks…
For those of you who think hip hop is crap..?
Read these lyrics..
“I see the hurt when I look into your eyes
How you struggle to hold it and keep it bundled inside
It drives a dull blade deep in my heart; it makes me want to cry
So I offer you a hand to help wash away the rainy skies
I’m running out of words, but I haven’t yet made my message clear
So if none of this makes sense, I just want you to know I’m here
As a musician, as a friend, as a teacher, as a student
To grow and realize that everything is in constant movement
Each problem that we face is just a part of this movement
It seems helpless, but if we stick together we’ll get through it
And return to the essence from which we’ve been uprooted
And wake humanity from these illusions
The second you can look into the sky and see your own reflection
You know your headed in the right direction
The river riding always moves, but with it I live
And everything is perfect, just the way it is.”
– Eyedea, “Here for you.”
Mhm.. it’s amazing. Hip hop is truly poetry, but with beats. The stupid shit they put on the air is what gives hip hop its bad name. You should turn off your MTV, and listen to real music.
What do you think? If you read these lyrics, would you think it was poetry, or just a crappy hit on MTV?
Haha yep :D.
Lol I think you should learn to read because I was saying how much I enjoy hip hop. Imbecile.
GardenersCardiff answers:
That was a really good verse. The first time reading this, i would think it is definitely poetry.
Helen asks…
Career,life,growing up?
Okay, so I want to be a writer…but I kind of just want to travel the world , write about my experiences, and just make my own book, but that probably won’t make a very good living by doing that. I’m not sure if I want to go to college…I’m pretty sure you have to go to college to get a book published,right? I just want to have a tiny suitcase and a journal and just hop on a plane or bus and just travel…it sounds ridiculous but I really just want that for my life. I don’t want to miss the college life out though…but I feel like I kind of will be waisting it…it’s hard to explain…I mean we all get these high end jobs and pay so much money and go to school and then we get a job and we may or may not like it and it could be so stressful. We get high end jobs most of the time to buy more and more STUFF…but all along all we want is love and companionship…it’s true…without that their would be no need to try to look your best and act your best all the time. Because the whole reason for getting a job is to please yourself and then please other on your social status. All I want to do is travel and kind of be a missionary in a way…just help people…but I have to go to college to join the Peacecore…:/ This is very long, thanks for anyone who reads the whole thing…what should I do?
GardenersCardiff answers:
First, you do not need to go to college to have a book published – you just need to be a good writer with a compelling story.
As for just hopping on a train, plane or bus, money – you can’t just hop one without paying the fare. So the question you have to ask is “where do I get the money to do this.” Obviously, the answer is a job. Now, if you want to eschew the more material things in life, you could always just move from town to town picking up minimum wage jobs for a few months, live in hostels, saving your money for the next bus ticket. This would lend itself to the type of book that chronicles the lives of people in small towns along the bus/train routes (I don’t think hopping a plane gives you the same experience).
Going overseas gets tougher – language barriers, crossing borders, danger, etc. It probably can be done, but without speaking say Spanish and French or German or Italian, you are going to lose a lot of the color that would make your book better.
Having written your book, now you have to get it published, which means a good literary agent. This means the book has to be good to start, since a literary agent won’t take on a book/author that won’t sell. Why not start by writing short stories and submitting them to publications and see what type of feedback you get. For example, many areas have local magazines that include features about local places and people – why not see what the submission guidelines are and write about something offbeat or of general interest.
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