Linda asks…
Ganja, Weed, Pot. . . whatever it’s all lies!?
I’m F*cking tired of all of you ignorant, stupid f*cks out there who think that cannibis is wrong. Well yes you are allowed to have your own opinion about it, but you’re probably thinking it’s wrong for the wrong reason. IF ANYONE CAN COME UP WITH ONE TRUE BAD LASTING SIDE EFFECT OR PROBLEM OTHER THAN IT BEING ILLEGAL, I WILL SUCK YOUR D*CK! Hemp is defined in the dictionary ass any crop being domesticated or grown during prehistory. Hemp has been used for thousands of years for almost every reason imaginable, it’s been used for paper which is multiple times stronger than the chemical paper we use today made from trees, and this is the biggest reason why it is illegal. The chemical paper manufacturing business was just begining to flower at the same time as the crop in the mid 1900’s when someone had the idea to mass produce hemp paper. the founder of the chemical treated paper from trees would have gone bankrupt, so outlawing the growth of cannibis would be of great fortune to him and his companions. That is the singe largest reason why cannibis is illegal. It can also be used for cloth. More durable and softer than cotten, it would have driven that market off the planet. it’s easier and faster to grow than trees or cotten too. it was used to make sails for boats for thousands of years. decoration: aside from its THC qualities it is a beautiful plant in any garden. Of course drugs: If Weed wasn’t illegal in the U.S.A, then the drug use in minors and adults would actually go down over time. Teens want to try pot mostly because it is curious, teachers tell you it is bad, but they don’t have any proof. It can’t be THAT bad then can it? when kids are mad at their parents we feel the need to rebel. weed to the rescue! kids use it as a vent for anger, then find it enjoyable and continue. Medicine: Just look at any medicine before the 1950’s and you’ll see marijuana in every single bottle or pill. it can also be taken in more exact dosages because it can be smoked as opposed to eaten or drank, although those are alternate methods. Gigantic stock market increase: Speaks for itself, if every paper, and cloth can be mad IN America or the individual country, then the cost of the product will go down, especially if it’s cheaper to make without shipping included.(less chemicals=less price) More jobs: less drug dealers = more real jobs. . . DUH I hope that I at least changed someone’s opinion or at least educated some on the subject, and well I could write for days on the sublect you’ll just have to wait for my book on the subject •Sincerely: Tyler
GardenersCardiff answers:
As much as I agree with you that the criminalization of cannabis is absurd, you have to get some facts straight, my friend. I smoke a lot of bud, so I’m with you on this one, trust me. Many of the side effects are bullshit, but during periods of frequent use (1-2 times a day), you feel kinda fried all of the time, even when you’re not high. Also, you can’t remember shit. That’s it though. Nug was made illegal in 1937, and was not used in bottles or pills. Heroin (early 1900’s used as a medicine), Cocaine (in the original Coca-Cola), PCP (Used as an anesthetic), and many other drugs were though coincidentally. Back in those days, weed was considered much worse than Opium, heroin and morphine. Weed was made illegal mostly because it was used by minorites such as african-americans and hispanics, and was used by the government to keep a check on these groups, which is stupid and really racist. Hemp should be manufactured for clothes, ropes, etc., but i don’t think marijuana should be made legal, it should be simply taken off the controlled substance list. This means that nothing would change, other than the fact that the government couldn’t do shit about possession, buying, distribution, or production of weed. If it was made legal, it would be heavily taxed, sprayed with terrible chemicals, and probably lead to cancer with all the additives that would be in the stuff. There’s no way in hell the government would take it off the controlled substances list anytime within the next millenium though. Our best hope is to get it decriminalized for possession, so people like you and I don’t have to get butt-raped in jail for having a dime on us. For the time-being, get your piece, pack some nice bud and light up, man. Maybe one day the government will give American’s the right to make their own decisions about their lives.
David asks…
thinking of having kids, a must read, so funny?
Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM-10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2.
Eat cold food with one hand for dinner
3. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
4. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
5. Set the alarm for 3AM.
6. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM, make a drink and watch an infomercial.
7. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
8. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
9. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
10. Get up. Make breakfast.
Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out…
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons.
How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this – all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat.
1. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
2. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, theT eletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhereyou go for the next four years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room
GardenersCardiff answers:
Oh yes us dumb Americans with our American humor. That is Funny and so true… Extend the cherrios by a few months and ya got it!!! Us Americans find humor in lots of stuff eh? Of course being a wife and a mother had made me a little sarcastic!
Charles asks…
Can you name the rock song these lyrics belong to?!?!?
Random rock songs. Some newer than others. Some more popular than others…
—
1. I got my head checked by a jumbo jet It wasn’t easy but nothing is, no.
2. So slide over here, and give me a moment..
3. I’m breaking my back just to know your name, but heaven ain’t close in a place like this.
4. Hey you, hey you, finally you get it. The world ain’t fair, eat you if you let it.
5. She’s chic, but she’s not shady..
6. Drugs, they say, are made in California.
7. With the birds I’ll share this lonely view..
8. Why don’t you come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride.
9. All around the world statues crumble for me.
10. Don’t look before you laugh, look ugly in a photograph.
11. Clean shirt, new shoes and I don’t know where I am goin’ to.
12. I will buy you a garden where your flowers can bloom.
13. I believe the world is burning to the ground. Oh well, I guess we’re gonna find out.
14. Take my hand now, we’ll run forever. I can feel the storm inside you.
15. I picture your face in the back of my eyes. A fire in the attic, a proof of the prize.
GardenersCardiff answers:
1. Song 2 by blur
2. New sensation by inxs
3. N/a
4. N/a
5. N/a
6. N/a
7. N/a
8. N/a
9. Fly by sugar ray
10. N/a
11. Sharp dressed man by zz top
12. I will buy you a new life by everclear
13. N/a
14. N/a
15. N/a
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Mary asks…
IS THIS MYTH WORTH AN A ?
ok , i suck at writing. but is the following myth worth a good grade? what’s wrong with it? can i improve it? does it even make sense ??
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Hestia, the God of the Sun, has a son named Omega. Omega grew up to be very spoiled, he never wanted to help clean or do the chores. All he did all throughout his life was cause trouble everywhere. He purposely knocked market carts full of crops over, he played pranks on everybody, he cheated on games, and he dug up flowers in the garden. He did even worse things when people made him angry. Hestia didn’t appreciate his trouble and did not want to deal with it.
Upon one beautiful, yet hot, summer day, the Great God Hestia, was yearning for a drink. He knew that he could of simply asked for one, but he wanted to test Omega. Hestia called for him, and told him, “I am thirsty. The nearest source of water is the small river in the whispering sands desert. Omega, I want you to walk to and from the desert with only one goblet to fill with water, for me and not you. I expect the goblet to be full when you return; no water shall be drunk nor dropped from it. When you reach the river, I know you will be thirsty too, so you may stay there for as long as you want, but listen as I tell you this; once you leave, you may not turn around to go back and drink more from the river.”
Omega, who was barely even listening, said “ Sounds easy enough, I do not understand why you explain to me so it seems like a hard challenge.” But Hestia just shook his head, and handed Omega the goblet.
So off went Omega, into the vast desert. He walked for about 7 hours, and then realized that his skin began to blister and turn into a dark red color. He was very nervous about this, for he had never seen this happen to his skin. He ignored it though, because then his focus became into finding water. His throat, mouth, and lips began to dry and wrinkle up.
He tried to ignore both of his problems, and after a while he came to the river. He was overjoyed, and began to splash, play, and swim. After a while, he got out and filled the goblet. He thought to himself, “I feel refreshed and ready to go back to Hestia.” Omega walked two steps, and then thought that he should go back and drink some more just so he could have even more energy. But as he tried to turn around, something wouldn’t let him. After trying to figure it out, he remembered what his uncle had said, “Once you leave, you may not turn around to go back and drink more from the river.”
Omega didn’t worry though, because he knew he drank enough water to get him through the rest of the journey, but he did wish he could get some more water in his body. But he continued to walk to home. Again, after a while his skin started to turn red, and it burned if he touched it. He wondered what it could be. His mouth started to tighten up again from lack of water, but there was no water around except for the water in Hestia’s goblet. He thought about drinking it, but he knew that if he disobeyed his uncle, there would be consequences.
An hour later, he desperately needed a drink. He had no choice but to drink the water in the goblet. So he drank three tiny sips and put some on his red skin, to cool it down. As Omega looked into the goblet, it was clear that it was no longer full, as the God asked for it to be.
Omega continued to walk, hoping that his uncle wouldn’t notice that his cup was not filled all the way. He finally got to the palace, and Hestia said, “ why isn’t my cup filled the to the top? Did I not ask you to fill it all the way ?” His nephew was scared to answer his question, but he responded with, “Yes, but I started to get severe burn-like blisters on my skin.” “I SAID NOT TO TAKE ANY OF THE WATER FROM THE GOBLET!And you did!” , said the god, “ And now whenever you go out into the sun or any hot weather, you will continue to get blisters and burns on your skin.”
GardenersCardiff answers:
Your myth is creative and entertaining, but there are some minor problems. The ending of the story is slightly rushed. You should expand on why Omega received the blisters in the first place and maybe tweak the ending so that he receives a more permanent punishment.
You may want to also change the nature of Omega’s misbehavior so that it relates to the punishment. Hestia is trying to teach Omega a lesson, so the consequences should be relevant to what Omega was doing wrong. You could, for example, say that Omega never followed directions properly and, because of that, Hestia punished him for not doing so.
Also, you switch from Hestia being the father to him being the uncle. Make sure your myth is consistent.
Other than that, however, I enjoyed it and you did a good job creating a story that resembles an actual myth.
Richard asks…
Advice for my first vegetable garden?
Hello! This summer I plan on planting my first real garden (growing up my dad made us plant gardens, but they were his, I never got my own really). I do have a lot of plants/flowers around my apartment… I just love growing things! So I know I have a bit of a “green thumb”.
My question is really about two things in particular:
1) Should I start my vegetables from seeds or from the little baby plants? What are the advantages/disadvantages of each? Is it nearly impossible to grow vegetables from seeds?
2) What are some good first garden vegetables? Like which are easiest, and would grow best in my area (SE Michigan)?
Thanks for any advice you can give! 
GardenersCardiff answers:
It is very rewarding to start plants from seed but also takes a little practice and a few failed attempts. To get started I would buy plants from you local nursery until you get the hang of starting from seed. Make sure you check the plants for disease and bugs like spider mites and thrips. If you have a bug problem spray neem oil on the plants. My first garden consisted of different varieties of tomatoes and peppers. I do live in Nebraska not Michigan. Find out when to plant up there so that frost doesn’t kill your young plants and they have enough time to ripen before the weather gets to cold
Lisa asks…
Can you name the rock song these lyrics belong to?!?!?
Random rock songs. Some newer than others. Some more popular than others…
—
1. I got my head checked by a jumbo jet It wasn’t easy but nothing is, no.
2. So slide over here, and give me a moment..
3. I’m breaking my back just to know your name, but heaven ain’t close in a place like this.
4. Hey you, hey you, finally you get it. The world ain’t fair, eat you if you let it.
5. She’s chic, but she’s not shady..
6. Drugs, they say, are made in California.
7. With the birds I’ll share this lonely view..
8. Why don’t you come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride.
9. All around the world statues crumble for me.
10. Don’t look before you laugh, look ugly in a photograph.
11. Clean shirt, new shoes and I don’t know where I am goin’ to.
12. I will buy you a garden where your flowers can bloom.
13. I believe the world is burning to the ground. Oh well, I guess we’re gonna find out.
14. Take my hand now, we’ll run forever. I can feel the storm inside you.
15. I picture your face in the back of my eyes. A fire in the attic, a proof of the prize.
Actually, Blake, you made some mistakes in artists.
GardenersCardiff answers:
3. Sombody told me – The Killers
8. Magic carpet ride – Steppenwolf
9. Fly – Suger Ray
11. Sharp dressed man- ZZ Top
13 Rob tomas
15. Ana Mooly – Incubus
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