For the Best Gardeners in the Cardiff Area

   Dec 23

Your Questions About Gardening

Joseph asks…

The Garden Gnomes shaved my cats and declared war on the neighbor’s halloween decorations. darn it all….

The dang neighbors are the type of people who don’t take care of their lawn in the first place, going weeks w/o mowing the lawn, their hedges need to be trimmed, they have busted out windows and what not….. BUT they’ll spend all their money on them G-D yard decorations and one or two look ok but their whole flippin’ yard? what the heck? My garden gnomes get irritated by change, plus they’re irritated because the view of the neighbors who walk around naked in their house with the blinds up, is being blocked. they shaved my cats last night out of anger, have war paint on their faces and are planning on an attack on the Halloween decorations. Should I warn the neighbors or just let the gnomes take the fall? I know that the neighbors will blame me cuz I had a history of tossing rotten eggs at their house… AHEM… anyway…. what should I do?

GardenersCardiff answers:

Those Gnomes are tricky. Every time I walk by your house they wink and stick their tongues out at me. Just let them take the fall. I know what – let’s pull up all their Halloween decorations and put up Easter stuff. Let’s hang those plastic eggs from all their trees and put those pink and blue blow up bunnies everywhere. ♥

Charles asks…

why does my cajun neighbour keep attacking my garden gnome?

GardenersCardiff answers:

I wore out both of Dog Luvr’s legs they became permanently stained so I had to move on to your garden gnomes, I couldn’t help myself, they looked like Sassy, Heaven, and Rumboy. I have drilled some mighty big holes in them now and think I need to move on over to Rumboy’s yard for some fresh secret agent gnomes. Secret agent is soooooo dolphin smooth

Robert asks…

Are fighters who get ‘rage’, or see ‘red mist’, dangerous or vulnerable?

In my old English class we had a sprite of a lad who must have been knee-high to a garden gnome and weighed no more than a wet fart. He resembled Harry Potter down to the mop-top haircut, specs and I believe he even wore a cardigan.

Sounds like a nice, harmless academic boy. But in truth he was an ardent racist, and as such always found himself getting in to fights outside the pub on a Friday night.

Now, by definition, he should never have won a fight. He was built like a matchstick, was as blind as a mole and had never had any formal training in martial arts, boxing or even just in the gym.

But this guy was famous for becoming enraged, it was almost a mental condition; he’d suddenly start screaming like a banshee and would just go crazy, arms and legs everywhere, and would literally dive in to men three times his size and almost claw them to pieces- no technique or style, just pure, masochistic rage so that he was uncontrollable, relentless.
So, in a street fight, is this condition a strength or a weakness, and do trained fighters find others like this hard to deal with compared to your average two-fisted thug?


GardenersCardiff answers:

Hmmm a very good question !!!!

I’d say both dangerous and vulnerable….why well in red mist mode people become tunnel visioned and if they connect and sustain the aggression may likely win though pure out and out single minded determination.

But vulnerable also with tunnel vision ,as a trained determined opponent may take advantage of their single minded assault ,hence they may be open to a serious devastating counter attack without seeing it coming.

Hope this helps :)

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