gardenerscardiff.co.uk

For the Best Gardeners in the Cardiff Area

   Dec 24

Your Questions About Gardening

Charles asks…

Can I use my garden gnomes for target practice? They cause a lot of fights and are up to no good anyway.?

damn garden gnomes. Bunch of drunk short people who make comments about my butt and other things and then try to pick fights with the pink flamingos.

I think I shall practice shooting with the garden gnomes.

GardenersCardiff answers:

Either that or turn some concrete geese loose on them. Which is more entertaining and you get to say, “Release the Kraken.”

Nancy asks…

How to observe breath in meditations…..?

i was very depressed….my mind is filled with anxiety….while meditating i get distract easily….i can’t make distance from thoughts n chatter….is i what to observe hardly or softly….if i get distract i will immediately return to the breath….how to stop flow of thoughts n chatter.release anxiety…-any way plz help me…

GardenersCardiff answers:

I know where you are coming from. Some days I’m okay, some days I’m poor. But I consider just practicing meditation to be so important.

My mantra is “Breathing Awareness” I repeat it mentally any time I find myself thinking while meditating. The thought blocks whatever else is rattling around. It helps me get back to focus on my breathing. I try to focus on being aware of the nerve impulse to breathe coming out of my spine.

I also enjoy listening to Eckhart Tolle DVDs. He’s like a garden gnome crossed with a guru. His message is on target.

James asks…

Help…Please!…someone…the garden gnomes..?

20 times has night and day arrived; the sun and moon sing their mockery above my horticultural prison. Know they of the dripping water that drips, drips drips drips upon the tyranny of sound that endless drips…hope is fleetly fading…my tongue has forgotten the glee of fresh food, they’ve usurped all the land south of the kitchen. I know too well the taste of dry soil. Someone…anyone…I can feel their beady eyes resting hungrily upon me, scouring, waiting..behind the poinsettias, behind the marigolds, behind the tulips that sway like drops of hardened blood!…please help me…sleep is now a wanton leisure, their shadows stalk my dreams; there is no sleep in hell. I spend my hours with my spade, glaring at it direly, wishing for the courage to carve a fatal wound out of this husk…but the courage never comes…and I pay for my cowardice…I pay. But now they plan. Those fanciful rats. I should have listened! I should have left them at Target where I found them, where they stood in their neat little rows, keeping their cute facades.. But I was a fool! And now the actions of a …shhhh…how close to fruit are their plans? Too close! Too close I say! And I?! I have none…Why me? I’m just a sheep, full of wool, all warm in the winter!..bahhhhh bahhhhh bahhahahahhahahaahahah! the ground! the ground is collllldddd…help me…save me…the garden gnomes..

GardenersCardiff answers:

Well done!!… I love it!!!

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