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Your Questions About Gardening « gardenerscardiff.co.uk
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gardenerscardiff.co.uk

For the Best Gardeners in the Cardiff Area

   Jan 08

Your Questions About Gardening

John asks…

What could you do with a role of duck tape, a tube of super glue and a garden gnome?

GardenersCardiff answers:

Hang the gnome up with the duck tape then use the gnome as target practice by trying to squirting it with the superglue!!

Richard asks…

He was a bully/rapist. Now he is a cannabis dealer, my revenge plot.?

Well, before i begin let me tell you about this guy who came my school a while back.

Dylan, 3 years older than me, a year 11 pupil who felt the need to terrorize a year 8 student, new to he school.
I won’t go into detail, but i had accidentally opened the door and hit his toe in the toilette in school, and became a target for 2 years.
He would pick me up and put me up side down and push his private on my mouth, feel my butt, take pictures of my private when using school bathrooms, punch/kick/slap me in front of people. One day i decided it’s enough and told the teachers and my parents and i went to him in school infront of his friends and told them hes a peadophile, slapped his food out of his hands and stabbed him with a pair of siccors that wounded him. It felt good, but because of that he used it against me when we had to speak with the police and teachers/parents he denied everything and told them that I always hated him for calling me dumbo and they all bought it and thought i lied.. even my parents.
Well so he decides to follow me home after after-school-activities and cought up to me, he slid his hands into my boxers and felt my butt and testicles he tried making me touch him but i refused and he tore my shorts and did perverted things (not penetrate)

I told on him again and this time he got in trouble and some-how we didn’t go court i don’t remember this clearly.

REVENGE

So, as the title says, he know is a cannabis grower. I saw him one time and followed him home and actually SAW him selling and to confirm i got friends of friends to verify by buying bud of him which we then smoked and got baked, moving on. I don’t want to report him to the police, and do not tell me to do so. I want to take his cannabis cause that is most precious to him. I figured that i should go in all black on 2AM and break in, but i am 15 and i cant be out till 11.

So my other plan was, leave him a note! like on his door, saying something like
“Unless you leave a ounce of your best shit underneath your garden gnome for me to send someone to collect it, ill get the police to raid your house, you have 24hours to leave the ounce, in this amount of time you couldn’t move all your weed and plants. btw im watching you so if you act susipicous im calling the cops”

obviously i could improve this using a phone, or telling him that i have already called the cops and told them i know a massive drug house and that they already have the warrant to raid but need me to tell them the addrese.

bottom line, i want his bud.

Give me your craziest ideas of how to get it, and please guys take my question seriously. Im stoned as i am writing this so pardon me if anything is moving.
the first 2 answers are exactly what i do not want to hear, someone come up with a plan like the question asks thank you.

answer 1 and 2
Fuck you.

GardenersCardiff answers:

Ahaha “I figured that I should go in all black on 2AM and break in, but i am 15 and i cant be out till 11”. Dude, you are not prepared to do jack shit to this guy. If curfew deters you from revenge, then you are not the man for the job. And even if you were, you are just creating more problems for yourself by trying to get revenge – this will come back to bite you in the ass. He’s gonna know that you did it, and he’s going to come looking for you. Who knows – he could rape you! I would imagine that this would be just cause for him to straight-up butt-rape you!

If I were in your position, I would find out who his bud source is, buy an ounce from his source (or from a source with better bud), and take all of this bully’s customers. That way, the bully still has his weed and dignity, but he can’t make any money (because you have his customers), and what’s he gonna do, call the cops on you? That would just make him a bee-itch. Worst case scenario, just make sure you’ve got concrete evidence that he’s selling too so that you have all of your ducks in a row in case he tries to screw you over. That way, if you go down, he goes down, too. And that is what is known as competitive marketing – not physical, still personal, yet equally satisfying as stabbing him in the hand with scissors, hopefully without all of the blood.

James asks…

Where can I find the following…?

A garden hose, a Spanish apple crusher, 19 blue garden gnomes, a shop sales assistant called Larry, 4 chin sponges and a full bag of cashew nuts? I need to know immediately 🙂

GardenersCardiff answers:

Hose- homedepot
crusher- ??
Gnomes- walmart
larry- florida
sponges- target
cashews- target

Goodluck

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