Your Questions About Gardening

GardenersCardiff answers:

Try to think about other things he likes… What kind of shows does he like to watch on TV? Does he have any favorite bands? A favorite food? For example my boyfriend loves the show Sons Of Anarchy and online I found a company that makes a custom hoodie like the ones they wear on the show. You could always get tickets to a concert of his favorite band, and for the food thing you could get a nice gift card for a restaurant that makes a great version of that food (even if it’s pizza, there are often gourmet restaurants, usually little tiny restaurants, that are fancy but not overpriced, that make interesting kinds of pizza!) if all else fails, here’s an idea: my boyfriend loves the Patriots, but I didn’t want to get him another hoodie or anything, but at Target I found garden gnomes with a Patriots theme 🙂 it’s a silly gift but also something that’s cute and kind of ‘represents’ his team in an obscure and different way!

GardenersCardiff answers:

Supplies needed (most can be obtained at Home Depot):

1 50-foot reinforced garden hose
1 Propane canister
2 Rolls duct tape
1 quarter inch male-to-female coupler
1 garden gnome
1 pack of really long matches
1 BBQ spatula

1 pound weapons grade uranium (probably not from Home Depot)

Assembly:
Use BBQ spatula to transfer the uranium from its container into the empty propane canister. (It’s probably a good idea to use some of your mom’s dishwashing gloves as protection.)

Once full, use one of the couplings and some duct tape to connect the hose to the canister. Make sure to get a good seal with the duct tape. This is important.

Unroll 20 foot of hose and wrap the remaining hose around the garden gnome. Use duct tape as necessary. The end of the hose should be taped to the gnome’s hand. Also, tape a match to the same hand so that the end of the match rests in the opening of the hose.

Ignition:
Place canister at or near target. Go around the corner with the gnome, suck on the end of the hose in the gnome’s hand as if you were siphoning gas. This gets the uranium gasses flowing. No, light the top of the match (this is important, because it will allow you time to escape), set the garden gnome down gently and run. Run fast. The match will burn down and, at the end, ignite the gasseous uranium that has been collecting in the hose and will backdraft to the canister. At this point, you may hear a loud “boom”. If so, you are successful.

Should there be no “boom”, cautiously retrace your steps and try again. Perhaps you should purchase a less friendly looking gnome next time. Or suck harder.

Good luck to you and your “group”.

GardenersCardiff answers:

Short Answer: No. Gnomes are mystical creatures created in fictional writing.

Long Answer: A gnome is a legendary creature, (also known as a “Cassie” in a fictitious book written by E.G. Khrenson in 1925), that is characterized by its very small stature and subterranean lifestyle. According to the alchemist Paracelsus, gnomes are the most important of the elemental spirits of the classical element of earth; they move as easily through the earth as humans walk upon it,have conical hats, and the sun’s rays turn them into stone. In other traditions, they are simply small,misshapen, mischievous sprites or goblins (with pointy caps). Some sources claim they spend the daytime as toads instead of in stone and they are also said to have magical powers that make people feel sad or happy.

The word gnome is said to derive from the New Latin gnomus and ultimately from the Greek gnosis, meaning knowledge. According to myth, gnomes hoarded secret knowledge just as they hoarded treasure.

Often featured in Germanic fairy tales, including those by the Brothers Grimm, the gnome often resembles a gnarled old man living deep underground who guards buried treasure. Because of this, Swiss bankers are sometimes disparagingly referred to as the Gnomes of Zürich. Gnomes feature in the legends of many of central, northern and eastern European lands by other names: a kaukis is a Prussian gnome, and barbegazi are gnome-like creatures with big feet in the traditions of France and Switzerland. In Iceland, gnomes (vættir) are so respected that roads are re-routed around areas said to be inhabited by them.

Further east, tengu are sometimes referred to as winged gnomes. Some confusion arises as the gnome is one of many similar but subtly different creatures in European folklore; mythical creatures such as goblins and dwarves are often respresented as gnomes, and vice versa.

A gnome in a conical cap.Individual gnomes are not very often detailed or featured as characters in stories, but in Germanic folklore, Rübezahl, the lord over the underworld, was sometimes referred to as a mountain gnome. According to some traditions, the gnome king is called Gob.

Rudolf Steiner, and other theosophists before him, lectured at length on gnomes, and especially their supportive role in the development of plant life (and biodynamic agriculture).

Modern sourcesoften depict gnomes as diminutive, stout humanoids who wear tall, pointed conical caps and dress in solid colors such as blue, red or green; in this depiction, the male gnome always has a long white beard.

Garden gnomes

Gnomes of The BeatlesThe first garden gnomes were introduced to the United Kingdom in 1847 by Sir Charles Isham, when he brought 21 terracotta figures back from a trip to Germany and placed them as ornaments in the gardens of his home, Lamport Hall in Northamptonshire. Only one of the original batch of gnomes survives: Lampy as he is known, is on display at Lamport Hall, and is insured for one million pounds.

Garden gnomes have become a popular accessory in many gardens, although they are not loved by all. They are often the target of pranks: people have been known to return garden gnomes “to the wild”, most notably France’s “Front de Liberation des Nains de Jardins” and Italy’s “MALAG” (Garden Gnome Liberation Front). Some kidnapped garden gnomes have been sent on trips around the world (the travelling gnome prank; this later became the basis for Travelocity’s “Roaming Gnome”).

They have become controversial in serious gardening circles in the UK, and are banned from the prestigious Chelsea Flower Show as the organisers claim that they detract from the garden designs. Gnome enthusiasts accuse the organisers of snobbery because they are popular in working class and suburban gardens.

A sub-culture exists among those who collect garden gnomes, which is frequently lampooned in popular culture.

A replica of Lampy the Lamport gnome.Garden gnomes were made in various poses and pursuing various pastimes, such as fishing or gardening. More recently, garden gnomes have been depicted indulging in indecent exposure or having sex.

Gnomes in popular culture
The Nome King (spelled without the silent “G”) and his nome subjects nearly transformed Dorothy Gale and her friends into bric-a-brac in Ozma of Oz, the third book in L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz series. The character appeared several times in later books in the series, usually as an ambitious enemy.

J. R. R. Tolkien used the word gnome in his early work The Book of Lost Tales for a fictional people later called Ñoldor. He dropped the term in his published works, since he found the gnomes of folklore to be so unlike his High Elves as to confuse his readers. “Gnomes” also refer to the Valar.

Gnomes are one of several races on Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, where they are also called goblins. The Nac Mac Feegle are sometimes considered an ethnic subgroup of gnomes.

Nomes (again without a “G”) are a race of tiny aliens who have been living on Earth for centuries in Pratchett’s trilogy of children’s books The Bromeliad.

Revenge of the Gnomes was a popular 1989 Korean film, banned in several countries for racist dialogue. [citation needed]
Gnomes and Secrets of the Gnomes by Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet are illustrated fictional guidebooks to the mythical creatures, and resulted in the spin-off animated series David the Gnome. These are originally written in Dutch, where gnomes are called Kabouters. These books depict gnomes as a wise, noble, and civilzed race whose natural enemies are the trolls, due to their contrasting natures.

In some games, including the MMORPG RuneScape, Dungeons & Dragons (see Gnome (Dungeons & Dragons)), EverQuest, Horizons: Empire of Istaria, and World of Warcraft (see Gnome (Warcraft)), gnomes are a short race of humanoids closely related to dwarves, and are exceptionally adept at tinkering and mechanics. This often results in they and their allies having technologies not normally found in fantasy settings, such as firearms or robot-like automatons.

Gnome sweet gnome was a phrase made famous by zoe zukas who was a talking egg in an internet cartoon her only friend was a small asian man.zoes officia; site
J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter book series makes a brief mention of garden gnomes. Unlike the common portrayal of congenial, human-like dwarves with beards, the gnomes in Harry Potter are crude creatures “like a potato with legs”. To the wizarding community, gnomes are nothing more than an average garden nuisance like a mole.

In Terry Brooks’ Sword of Shannara series, gnomes are a race of short, ugly humanoids that share many common characteristics with the goblins of Tolkien’s Middle-earth and other works of modern fantasy fiction.

The French film Amélie includes a portrayal of the popular custom of stealing a garden gnome and returning it with pictures of the gnome in various faraway places. Various other popular works, such as the music video for the Matthew Good Band’s song Anti-pop, similarly depict the practice.

In King of the Hill’s 9th season episode ‘Yard, She Blows!’, Peggy Hill becomes infatuated with a garden gnome named Winklebottom and places it on the front lawn, to the embarrassment of her husband, Hank. Their son Bobby accidentally breaks its ear off, so Hank takes the opportunity to destroy and bury it, telling Peggy it was stolen. Peggy is distraught and Hank, not wanting to continue to lie to Peggy, goes to a German tourist town to buy a new garden gnome, named Figgleforth. Peggy loves her new gnome but suggests it be kept indoors to prevent theft. Hank is delighted until the gnome is placed in his bedroom. He is so creeped out by the gnome that he cannot undress in front of it.

In the Pixie Tricks series by Tracey West, Robert B. Gnome is of the Otherworld, given permission by the Fairy Queen to live as a colonist of sorts in the human world. He poses (literally) as a garden statue for much of the time, but can be interacted with as if with a living being.