Your Questions About Gardening

Seniors, did your children/grandchildren ever say anything that stuck in your mind as funny?

Here are some examples but, it’s long so have a cup of tea/coffee and enjoy.

GRAND KIDS
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!” I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye..
( 2) My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”
(3). After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,”Who was THAT?”
(4). A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire, it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
(5). My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and I said, “No, how are we alike?”…. .. “You’re both old,” he replied.
(6). A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’ s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”
( 7).. I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!”
(8). When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights. ”
(9). When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure…” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised, “mine says I’m 4 to 6.”
(10). A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.. “That’s interesting, ” she said, “how do you make babies?” “It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”
( 11). Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young boy confidently. “It means carrying a child.”
( 12). A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close.”They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”
( 13).. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”
( 14). Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
( 15). My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
Thank you (((Lily))). Hi (((Marj)))

A light pome…What do you think?

This is a very old one of mine, I don’t think I’ve posted it before ( if I have I apologise). n.b. A pome is a verse which doesn”t actually qualify as a poem.

“Don’t put your wellingtons* on the draining board.
Don’t drop your school bag on the floor.
Don’t leave footprints down the hall-way,
What do you think the kitchen mat is for?

Do you ever think of washing-up your coffee cup?
Do you think that apples grow on trees?
Just for once you could put the toothpaste cap on.
Don’t you ever think you ought to try and please?

What’s this horrible screwed-up kit in your school-bag?
And this note from teacher – three weeks old!
Have you been to see your pet rabbit lately?
He’s probably lying dead out in the cold.

Why can’t you be like other children?
Polite and honest, clean and well-behaved.
Always willing to be helpful
Always cheerful and so grateful
The sort of children I have always craved.”

***

Isn’t it strange that this scenario is repeated
In every house where any child is found?
Each parent thinks the neighbour’s child angelic
Whilst imagining his own is prison-bound

*galoshes

Do you spank or plan on spanking your child?

There was an article on yahoo front page. If you want to read it up, here is the link,

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20100412/hl_time/08599198101900

My daughter is 19 months and have been giving me the hardest time in the world. She absolutely does not understand firm NO and it’s driving me nuts! I’ve tried Time outs several times but it does not seem to work at all.

I keep telling myself she is too young to be punished. But I know now that she is much more smarter and sneakier she appears to be… She always plays with her sippy cups or any sort of drinks. She spills it everywhere around the house and thinks it’s funny. When I take away the drink she goes coo coo out of her own control. This is just one of her behaviors. She have done plenty more that made me give her time outs.

I know there is far more parents out there are against spanking. Just few months back I was a strong non believer. Here are some reasons why I didnt believe on spanking.

Growing up, my father has always been the nice one to my sister and I. He was the shelter to run up to when mom was about to beat the nutcrack out of one of us.

I don’t remember much about my very young childhood. (born to up to 4)

But what I do remember is that, our mom had no patient for any of us. She use to spank me so hard that my butt was bruised. I remember because I use to show it my dad and telling him how much it hurt. Slowly when my sister and I reached middle school years. …. My mom used anything she had in her hand to beat me. I remember she threw a coffee mug at my head and I passed out. My sister told me that our mom thought I was just acting and that she just walked away. Another time she hit me while she was driving with a travel coffee cup. Ended up with a huge bump on my forehead and had to cut bangs that night so people at school didnt notice my bruise.

Time went by and I became very self defensive. I didnt not let my mom touch me. I think it stated little after i started high school… She tried to hit me once and I hit her back pretty hard and made her very upset. That point on she didnt touch me.

I left home when i was senior and did not associate with my mom for 6 months or so…

life goes on and I get married to my husband at age 21.

My sister who is now 21 is currently at home with our mom. Our father passed away and my sister decided that she needed to move back home with her. Few months ago when my sister was living there with our mom… my mom have beaten my sister. Pushed her to the corner of the living room and just kicked her until she was bloodly.

My mom has her own issues that I no longer want to deal with. my sister is moving out soon and she will be out of both of our lives forever.

I’ve spoke to my sister about my daughter to seek help. I wanted to know what she felt about spanking. She loves my daughter and really does not want me to spank her. I am NOT saying I want to start beating her the way my mom did. I just dont want to loose all control as a mother.

I am sure there is some middle gound. But I am not sure where.

I am all okay outside but I feel that I am still very much angry at my mom.

I can’t never forgive her for raising me the way she did.

hm what do you think what has happen to me? I just can’t find middle ground for anything,

my husband even tells me that I am always super mad or super happy and that I have no middle ground for anything.

*shrugs*