Your Questions About Gardening

Ganja, Weed, Pot. . . whatever it’s all lies!?

I’m F*cking tired of all of you ignorant, stupid f*cks out there who think that cannibis is wrong. Well yes you are allowed to have your own opinion about it, but you’re probably thinking it’s wrong for the wrong reason. IF ANYONE CAN COME UP WITH ONE TRUE BAD LASTING SIDE EFFECT OR PROBLEM OTHER THAN IT BEING ILLEGAL, I WILL SUCK YOUR D*CK! Hemp is defined in the dictionary ass any crop being domesticated or grown during prehistory. Hemp has been used for thousands of years for almost every reason imaginable, it’s been used for paper which is multiple times stronger than the chemical paper we use today made from trees, and this is the biggest reason why it is illegal. The chemical paper manufacturing business was just begining to flower at the same time as the crop in the mid 1900’s when someone had the idea to mass produce hemp paper. the founder of the chemical treated paper from trees would have gone bankrupt, so outlawing the growth of cannibis would be of great fortune to him and his companions. That is the singe largest reason why cannibis is illegal. It can also be used for cloth. More durable and softer than cotten, it would have driven that market off the planet. it’s easier and faster to grow than trees or cotten too. it was used to make sails for boats for thousands of years. decoration: aside from its THC qualities it is a beautiful plant in any garden. Of course drugs: If Weed wasn’t illegal in the U.S.A, then the drug use in minors and adults would actually go down over time. Teens want to try pot mostly because it is curious, teachers tell you it is bad, but they don’t have any proof. It can’t be THAT bad then can it? when kids are mad at their parents we feel the need to rebel. weed to the rescue! kids use it as a vent for anger, then find it enjoyable and continue. Medicine: Just look at any medicine before the 1950’s and you’ll see marijuana in every single bottle or pill. it can also be taken in more exact dosages because it can be smoked as opposed to eaten or drank, although those are alternate methods. Gigantic stock market increase: Speaks for itself, if every paper, and cloth can be mad IN America or the individual country, then the cost of the product will go down, especially if it’s cheaper to make without shipping included.(less chemicals=less price) More jobs: less drug dealers = more real jobs. . . DUH I hope that I at least changed someone’s opinion or at least educated some on the subject, and well I could write for days on the sublect you’ll just have to wait for my book on the subject •Sincerely: Tyler

thinking of having kids, a must read, so funny?

Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM-10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.

2.

Eat cold food with one hand for dinner
3. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

4. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

5. Set the alarm for 3AM.

6. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM, make a drink and watch an infomercial.

7. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

8. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

9. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

10. Get up. Make breakfast.

Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out…

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons.

How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this – all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat.

1. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.

2. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, theT eletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhereyou go for the next four years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room

Can you name the rock song these lyrics belong to?!?!?

Random rock songs. Some newer than others. Some more popular than others…
—
1. I got my head checked by a jumbo jet It wasn’t easy but nothing is, no.

2. So slide over here, and give me a moment..

3. I’m breaking my back just to know your name, but heaven ain’t close in a place like this.

4. Hey you, hey you, finally you get it. The world ain’t fair, eat you if you let it.

5. She’s chic, but she’s not shady..

6. Drugs, they say, are made in California.

7. With the birds I’ll share this lonely view..

8. Why don’t you come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride.

9. All around the world statues crumble for me.

10. Don’t look before you laugh, look ugly in a photograph.

11. Clean shirt, new shoes and I don’t know where I am goin’ to.

12. I will buy you a garden where your flowers can bloom.

13. I believe the world is burning to the ground. Oh well, I guess we’re gonna find out.

14. Take my hand now, we’ll run forever. I can feel the storm inside you.

15. I picture your face in the back of my eyes. A fire in the attic, a proof of the prize.